Anger
by T. Riddle
Summary: John's anger is taking over him all because of his memories. A series of memories for John. SLASH. bobbyjohn. bobbyrogue. ryro hints. completed
1. prologue

A/N: This is my new story, Anger. It's basically a series of memories leading up to when John goes with Magneto. There is slash and I want to emphasize the John/Bobby relationship throughout it all. Some of these chapters will be short and some longer.  Any flames about slash will be ignored. Thanks. Please read and review.

Rating: I'm trying to keep it PG13.

Pairings: Main- Bobby/John. There is also Bobby/Rogue, and small hints of Ryro.

:prologue:

Anger. His anger fueled his power and all his thoughts. His anger controlled him, although he believed he had control. He was angry. He was mad at the world. He was mad at _him_…

          St. John Allerdyce stared at the wall. The wall was white. Just plain white. There was nothing special about it. It was the plainest wall in the world. He stared at it, in thought. Magneto brought him here just a few hours ago. It was just hours ago when he had boarded that helicopter. It was only hours ago when he had found out the truth. The truth was often painful and that's why people always buried themselves under lies. John was never much for lies. He liked the straight-out truth. He didn't care about the pain that came with the truth. He didn't care for much. Then why did it hurt so much? Why was he full of anger?

          He reached into his pocket and pulled out his lighter. He took his eyes away from the wall and looked at his lighter. It gleamed with a metallic glow. A well-crafted lighter, it was, complete with a design of a shark's head on it. He realized that he had this lighter longer than he could remember. And not once has it failed him. It hasn't given up its flames. It was still resourceful after all of this time. He ran his finger over it and flipped open the cap. He lit a small flame and then he closed his lighter cap. He repeated the pattern as he did, often.

          _Click._

_          Click._

_          Click._

          And he wondered. Why was he here? Not just here with Magneto, but here on the Earth. Here in this world. What was his purpose? He had nothing as far as he could tell. Nothing. He was alone in the world and no one cared about him. He had no family and his friends proved his value to them. Professor Xavier never cared about him. He only tried to 'help' him because he was a mutant. A powerful mutant. But no one ever appreciated his gift. No one ever told Pyro of his worth. That was until he met Magneto. Magneto had won him over. Magneto had seen the power-thirsty Pyro behind John Allerdyce and appreciated that. What did Xavier do? Xavier didn't care for his gift. The only thing he cared about was the word 'mutant'.

          Magneto had a better cause, anyway and his values made much more sense. Why should he fight with Xavier and the X-men for the safety of people who hate them? He believed that was worthless. And why should he stick around where he wasn't wanted? He was blind for so long. No one. Not one of them cared about him. It became clear for him after he torched those policemen. They didn't want him there.

          Actually, he had a fool's hope. He hoped that maybe one of those people cared about him. He secretly hoped and wished. But, it was a fool's hope. He was wrong. No one cared about him. No one wanted him. Not even _him_…

          So, what else was there to do, but join up with Magneto? Someone who understood him and could see the power that was pressing to escape. He believed he made the right decision. But he still felt anger. And the anger was taking control.


	2. one

A/N: I decided to upload this chapter too, so people will get a feel for the story. Please read and review.

:one:

          John Allerdyce and Bobby Drake. They were roommates and best friends. They were also rivals. The two were total opposites. John was the rebellious, I-don't-give-a-fuck, kind of guy and Bobby was the perfect, everybody-loves-me, kind of guy. Even, their mutations were opposing. Fire and Ice. It was a weird combination of friends. They're views were totally different, but some how they managed to form a friendship.

          It was a different kind of friendship. They weren't fast friends and they didn't have much in common. They were constantly around each other because they were roommates, and somehow a friendship grew from that. They were always together, whether they liked it or not. Soon, they didn't mind each other. They didn't argue much. John didn't care much about anything. He didn't say much either, unless it was a sarcastic remark or a witty comment. He listened more than talked, and kept his angst to himself.

          Bobby liked to talk and John liked to listen. Bobby would talk about anything and John never had an opinion. Sometimes, he would say something clever and make Bobby roll his eyes or glare at him. John didn't care about anything. He seemed to care about himself, but that was it. He didn't really like anyone else. He only hung around Bobby. When Bobby talked to him, he would talk back. It started as a weird relationship.

          But they're relationship grew. They became like actual best friends. They were more open with each other and while John didn't seem like he gave a fuck, Bobby was starting to care about his friend like he did with other people. He and John could joke around together. And they did everything together. Sometimes it would be like a competition. And other times, it was just relaxing or stupid. They were best friends, whether they would have liked to admit it or not.

          John remembered the first time he met Bobby Drake. He had just been expelled from his school, again, and was being kicked out of his foster home, again. That's when Professor Xavier found him and he recruited him back to his nice little institute for the 'gifted.' John didn't buy that crap, but he had no other choice. He went to the institute. Xavier just talked to him a lot about meaningless nothings. He sat there, in his office, and pretended to listen. He found himself making the 'clicking' sounds with his lighter, which didn't seem to bother Xavier at all.

          "Do you understand that, John?" Xavier asked him. He shrugged.

          "Yeah, whatever," He muttered, knowing this guy could read his thoughts at anytime and find out what he was _really_ thinking.

          "Scott Summers will show you to your room," Xavier said. "You'll be sharing it with another mutant named Bobby Drake."

          John closed his lighter cap closed and slipped it into his pocket. _'Great,'_ He thought to himself. _'Stuck sharing a room with some idiot, probably. He'll get sick of me by tomorrow and maybe I'll get my own room.'_

He forced himself up and grabbed his stuff. He followed the mutant wearing the red sunglasses, in silence. He hoped that the mutant wouldn't make conversation. Of course, what he hoped for never worked.

          "You'll really like it here," Scott said to him. John looked over at him, briefly, and then went back to looking at the floor. "Xavier's school is really good. He's done so much."

          John tuned out as the mutant started to talk more. He had absolutely no interest. He was only here because there was nowhere else to go. Eventually, they apparently arrived at his room.

          "This is it," Scott said. "Good luck."

He smiled weakly at John and walked off. John sighed. He may as well and meet the loser he would be sharing his room with for the time being. He opened the door and walked it. On the bed, near the far end of the room, was a boy sitting, looking like he was doing homework or something. The boy looked up and smiled. He had blonde hair, perfectly gelled up with spikes, and icy blue eyes.

          "Hi, you must be my roommate," He said to John. "I'm Bobby."

          "Right," John muttered. He looked around at the room. It was pretty neat. Of course it would be. The boy looked like one of those 'good' boys. They weren't going to get along.

          "What's your name?" He asked John. John looked over at him, as he threw his stuff on his bed.

          "John," He replied with apathy. He sat down on the edge of his bed and sighed. He looked up at Bobby, who was staring. "You."

          Bobby broke out of the gaze. "What?"

          "What are your so-called powers, anyway?" He asked. Of course   
John needed to know this. He wanted to know who had the advantage between their situation. Bobby grinned.

          "Oh, that," He moved up to the edge of his bed and was facing John. He held out his right hand in front of him, showing his palm. With his left hand, he started to produce ice with his fingertips and started to make something in the palm of his right hand. John watched, intently. In just moments, Bobby made a mini-sculpture of a lion. Bobby smiled at his creation.

          John showed no signs of interest. He pulled out his lighter and flicked the cap open. He ignited it to make a small flame appear. With the flame, he increased it in size and sent it over to the small lion, making it melt in Bobby's hand. Bobby shook the water from his hand and grinned at John.

          "Sweet," He said. John smirked.

          "I know," He said, glad to show off. Bobby tried to make more attempts at a conversation, but all he got was a taste of John's attitude. He finally figured out it was no use to try and talk with John. He would just make some comment or he'll ignore the topic all together. Bobby was starting to learn all about his new roommate. He wouldn't satisfy John by letting him know that he was an ass. He would try and make friends with John no matter what.

          John didn't expect that. He didn't expect that at all.


	3. two

A/N: Well, just read and review.

Thanks for reviewing: Phoenyx and Ima Super Mute Ant.

:two:

Their friendship grew. It grew a whole lot. More than John wanted it to or expected it to. He didn't even think there was going to be a friendship. But Bobby was much more determined than he looked. And they formed a friendship. It was hard to be friends with John Allerdyce. You need patience and tolerance. And Bobby was doing a good job with that. Bobby was different than most people John had dealt with. Bobby never left as anyone else would.

John appreciated that. Never had anyone in his whole life made an effort to try to see past that cold appearance. Never. But he did. He was the first. After getting a load of John's attitude and what he would normally say, they gave up and decided that he was useless and wouldn't make a good friend or anything like that. Just like what his foster families did to him. He wasn't a good son _and_ he was a mutant. They kicked him out before he had a chance to call this new place 'home.' At his various old schools, he would do what he wanted to. He may have been the new kid, but he acted like he owned the school. No one else there was a mutant. They had nothing on him.

In classes, he would make his trademark clicking noises with his lighter. He was constantly getting kicked out of class for talking back to the teacher or being disruptive. No one wanted to be friends with him after he had said one sentence. They instantly figured that he was some asshole and wasn't worth anything. He didn't care. He didn't care at all. He didn't even want to be there. He felt he was better than all of those people.

Sometimes, he would flirt with girls just to get a rise from their boyfriends. They would threaten to beat him up and try to kick his ass. But he would always have the upper hand. He was a mutant and they were not. Sure, they could be big football jocks that were about a foot taller than him and much stronger. He could suffer from as much as a bruise. But he was just playing with them. As soon as a flame appeared from his lighter, he was in control.

He remembered the first time he revealed that he was a mutant. He burned some kid's arm severely. At school, he was thought of as a freak and suffered massive hatred. Then, he was suspended. When his foster family found out, they got rid of him. He didn't even need to get expelled from school. He was being moved. It was hard to place a mutant in a foster home. They usually placed him in the crappy ones. But if anyone thought they had control over him, he would show them.

He was constantly expelled and constantly kicked out of his homes. And he didn't give a fuck. He could careless.

Bobby was the first to make an effort to be John's friend. And although John didn't want 'friends', he found himself hanging around with his roommate and talking with him. It was not long before he realized that they were actual friends. John never had friends. Bobby was basically the first. He never bothered with those who he believed were lower than him. Maybe he allowed Bobby to be his friend because he was a mutant. Or perhaps it was the innocence. John didn't know. All he knew is that they were now friends. Best friends, even. It was weird how mutants so opposite such as them, could become such close friends.

John stood up from his bed and headed towards the door, with his lighter at hand. He looked back at Bobby, who was doing his homework.

"Hey, I'm grabbing a bite to eat," John said to him. "You wanna come?"

Bobby looked up from his homework and over at the brunette mutant. He smiled.

"Sure," He said, as he put his books aside. He hopped out of his bed and followed John out of their room. Bobby walked beside him. At first, they were silent. John started making the clicking noises with his lighter. It use to annoy Bobby like hell, but now he was pretty much use to it. He didn't mind it. It was something you had to get use to when John was your roommate. John did it constantly. It was a habit that he couldn't give up, kind of like smoking.

"So, John," Bobby said, trying to start a conversation. John looked over at his friend. "Did you do your essay for L.A. yet?"

"Yeah," John replied, going back to flicking his lighter cap on and off. "It was a piece of cake."

"You always say that," Bobby muttered. "You like to write, don't you?"

"It passes the time," John said, with a shrug.

"You're pretty good at it, you know," Bobby said. John shrugged and shook his head.

"Yeah, right," He muttered.

"No really," Bobby assured his friend. "You are. I'm jealous."

John shrugged, secretly smiling. The fact that Bobby Drake was jealous of him for something made him quite satisfied. Not that he would ever let Bobby or anyone know that. As far as anyone was concerned, the only things that satisfied John were being insulted and probably a good time with a pretty girl. They didn't care to know anything else.

They became silent again. Soon after, Bobby started a conversation about the girls in the school. John noticed it was always Bobby starting the conversations. Well, John never had anything interesting he cared to talk about.

"Do you think anyone here is pretty?" Bobby asked. John shrugged.

"Not really," He said. "I don't really care for any of the girls here."

"Why not?"

"I just don't."

That conversation ended quickly. John liked girls as much as the next guy, but the girls here were so different than anyone he cared to date. And he probably doubted that any of the girls would want to date him after they've talked to him for five minutes. There has yet to be a girl that he has connected with yet. It just hadn't happened yet. Bobby probably had loads of girlfriends in his time. John didn't care about that and didn't bother to find out.

They arrived downstairs and went into the kitchen. Bobby grabbed himself a cold slice of pizza and John heated up his. Bobby liked his food cold. He liked anything cold. While John on the other hand, preferred the warmth. He liked heat. It was probably due to their mutations that they had these certain preferences.

Bobby finished quickly with his pizza and moved onto ice cream. He liked eating ice cream, as John noticed. He did it constantly. It did make sense to be eating ice cream since he was indeed Iceman, but there seemed to be no reason. John never questioned it. John never questioned anything. He kept any thoughts that weren't nasty or sarcastic to himself. Unlike normal people who would do just the reverse. He was different than most people. He had an excuse.

John sat there and stared at Bobby as he ate. Bobby took a whole carton of ice cream, grabbed a spoon, and started eating it. While it was weird that someone would be eating the whole thing of ice cream, John figured it was an Iceman thing. He finished his pizza and became bored. He sat there, contemplating whether to stay and watch Bobby eat or go back to their room and be bored there.

He decided to stay. He took out his lighter and started flicking the cap, igniting the flame, and then closing it, as he usually did. He continued the pattern as Bobby ate his ice cream. John took his gaze away from Bobby and the ice cream and looked over at the large, glass doors behind him. Ugly, pink curtains covered them. John felt that they would look better red, or even black. Anything was better than pink. He unconsciously lit the curtains on fire. He fell out of his daze when Bobby started yelling. The smell of smoke started to grow. Bobby turned around and stuck his hand out. He put out the fire that was started to spread and made it look as if there was no trace of the fire. It was only frozen curtains.

A few seconds later, Cyclops came running in. He immediately turned his attention to John. If there was trouble, then John was probably behind it. He looked at the curtains and back at John.

"What did you do?" Scott Summers asked him, coldly. John looked indifferent to the whole situation. He remained silent for a second and looked up at Scott. He opened his mouth to speak. Bobby beat him to it.

"Sorry, Scott," Bobby said, cutting off anything John was about to say. "It was my fault. He didn't do anything."

Scott looked, surprised. He wasn't the only one. John's eyes widened for a second, with surprise. Was Bobby taking the blame and possibly getting in trouble?

"Oh, well," Scott said, not knowing how to scold Bobby. Bobby never did anything wrong. "Don't cause trouble again. Now, how about the two of you get to bed?"

The two boys nodded and scrammed out of the kitchen. John stared at Bobby as he walked.

"Thanks," John muttered, not knowing whether to be angry or glad.

"No problem," Bobby said, sincerely. He didn't seem angry that he could have gotten in trouble for something that John was doing. Bobby walked a few inches in front of John, not knowing that John was staring. He didn't know whether to ask 'why' or not. Of course, he wanted to know why. His curiosity got the best of him.

"Why did you do that back there?" John asked. Bobby shrugged.

"Ah, it was nothing, you know. You already get yourself into enough trouble. I don't think you would want to end up having to wash Cyclops's cars. All of thousands of them."

John nodded. That seemed like a reasonable enough answer. It was the next part that surprised him.

"It's what friends do," Bobby added, casually. John stared, almost taken aback. He felt a feeling rising within him. He didn't know if it was satisfaction or the feeling of being accepted. Whatever it was, he liked it.


	4. three

:three:

Best friends. Those words made a huge impact on his John's life. Even the word 'friends' would have done that. But, the words 'best friends' were even more serious. It was unbelievable, yet believable at the same time. After the first day of talking to Bobby, he knew they were going to become friends. Maybe he didn't want that, but he knew it. And it happened. John was right. They did become friends. Maybe John liked that. But he would certainly not admit it. Ever.

It would be assumed that being best friends, you could go no further. That is what John and Bobby thought. They knew each other well now, and they hung around together, constantly. That was the case. For a while, anyway. Something changed between the two. Maybe it was a dream that sparked it or maybe it had always been there. What was once a comfortable environment was now not so comfortable. Something was going on between them. Something huge.

It was only natural that when two people spent a lot of time together, they become close. Was it possible that Bobby and John were becoming too close? Bobby was the first to realize this. He found himself staring at John constantly. When he realized this, he would look away, blushing from embarrassment. Bobby contemplated the thought of something more going on there. He didn't understand his feelings. He could be bluffing himself and making a big deal out of nothing.

That was a possibility...until he found himself waking from a wet dream. Then he knew what he feelings were and they told him only one thing. He liked John. _As more than a friend._ That thought scared the shit out of him. He never thought himself to be 'gay'. He was raised to be straight. He could just imagine the looks on his family's face if he told them he was gay. The same went if he told them he was a mutant.

While Bobby was figuring out his feelings, he had to figure out John's. John didn't show that much emotion ever. He would laugh at a good joke or glare if necessary. He just didn't parade his emotions around. Say Bobby liked John, and John didn't like him. What would he do then? He was scared of not only his new feelings, but of rejection. He would be risking his friendship with John. But the more time he spent with John, his feelings became stronger. He started to notice how handsome the brunette looked and started to notice other features he didn't notice before.

His feelings were becoming clearer, while John's feelings seemed to be unknown.

It was the perfect opportunity for Bobby to find out the truth. It was a nice day and the two boys wandered outside for a bit. They found a nice field to sit in and they just relaxed. They talked for a while. John laid down on his back. He looked up at the clouds, relaxed. He closed his eyes and Bobby watched him as he dozed off. He let out a sigh. It was now or never. He felt the sexual tension build.

Bobby leaned down over him. He looked so peaceful there, asleep on the grass. It seemed like the perfect moment. The wind was whistling softly, and the birds were chirping away in song. The leaves on the trees blew with the direction of the wind. It seemed as if John were part of nature himself. He was at peace with everything. Bobby felt his heart beating faster. He didn't know how John felt and at that moment, he didn't care. He had only one urge. He didn't understand what was going through his head. But Bobby leaned down over him, preparing to touch his lips with John's sweet lips...

John's eyes shot open and Bobby fell back with surprise. He sat up, but Bobby could not look at him. So many thoughts were racing through his head...both of their heads. There was a deep silence between the two boys and it seemed to last forever.

"Were you going to kiss me?" He finally asked. Bobby blinked and stared at him.

"What?"

"Were you going to kiss me?" The young fire-starter repeated. Bobby looked away, pretended to be interested in something else. And as casual as he could, he replied.

"No. No, of course not," He said. A new silence lingered. He could hear his heart pounding. John could probably hear it pounding at this volume.

"Oh okay," John said as if it were nothing. After a few more moments, he spoke again. "...Because you can if you want to..."

Bobby's heart stopped beating. Did he just hear John correctly? Did John just _give him permission_ to _kiss_ him? It was an offer that Bobby couldn't refuse. He tried hard to seem as if he weren't interested, but he was. There was a deep silence. Bobby turned and looked at him.

It was a little after Bobby had realized his feelings for John that John started to notice something. He noticed that Bobby was always acting edgy around him and was blushing more often. Sometimes he would even swear that Bobby was staring at him. 'So this is what our relationship has grown into...' John had thought to himself. And he had no problem embracing it. If Bobby liked him, than so be it. What was he good was it to deny anything? Maybe he wanted something like that. The idea seemed exciting. Did he actually love Bobby? He couldn't be sure. He guessed that he didn't. He didn't really love much of anybody.

Now there was just silence. John's offer still lingered in the air. Bobby finally turned and looked back at John. He was close to John. He stared into his eyes for a second before leaning over and pressing his lips against John's. It was awkward at first. While John was use to something much harder and rougher, the kiss with Bobby was sweet and he liked that. John started to deepen the kiss, wrestling with Bobby's tongue.

They separated. Bobby was still feeling kind of awkward, but John felt perfectly normal. There was no doubt that they both enjoyed that kiss. Bobby felt himself reddening. Of course, he would. He looked over at John once again. His eyes gleamed, inviting Bobby for another kiss. Bobby accepted that invitation and he leaned in for another kiss. This time, the kissing continued...

For a while, they had their relationship as more than friends. John found himself constantly seducing Bobby into a make-out session. He was enjoying this time with Bobby and didn't want it to stop. He didn't know if there were any actual feelings or he was just up for something sexual. He wasn't sure. He was the type of guy who didn't need to feel something to kiss someone. But he knew a way, he could truly find out what he felt.

It involved their room after midnight, the risk of their friendship, a little moaning, and some bliss. Afterwards, John knew at least one thing. His ass fucking hurt, but that was worth it. And he might have known one other. He just didn't know if he could admit it or not. Maybe he was afraid of feeling something _more_ that could lead to attachment. But it would probably be better to forget fear and not give a fuck. He knew Bobby felt attachment. And that was the part that scared him the most.

**A/N: **Well, sorry for the wait. My laptop is currently dead so I'm stuck using the world's crappiest computer, so updates not as frequent. It sucks. Sorry, all. So I'll try and update as much as I can even with this crap. Thanks for reading. Please review.

**Thanks for reviewing: **NY GE Pyromaniac, Coletterby, and Clay.


	5. four

:four:

It was remarkable how they were able to keep their friendship and their relationship as more than friends balanced. They weren't public about their 'other' relationship. Around people, they were just friends. But in the confinements of their own room or perhaps another place where they were alone, they were much more than friends. They were lovers.

Bobby was starting to really care about John. He wasn't sure if he wanted to, though. John showed no personal attachment to anyone. He was starting to wonder whether John really cared about him or was just in it for the sex. And he had to know. Their relationship had been going on for a while now. And Bobby wanted it to continue. But he had to know the truth before it went on any longer.

It was a little after midnight. John and Bobby found themselves wandering down to the kitchen. Bobby usually came down here alone for a midnight snack of ice cream, but lately, he had John as his companion. And while Bobby had ice cream, John had Bobby. They walked into the deserted kitchen. John hopped up and sat on the table. He looked over at Bobby and grinned. Bobby smiled back.

"Come here, Bobby," John said with a motion of his finger. Bobby, who was originally headed towards the refrigerator, walked over to John instead. The table was just high enough so when John sat on it, he was nearly Bobby's height. John spread apart his legs a bit and pulled Bobby closer to him. His fingers lightly placed themselves on Bobby's neck. He pulled Bobby's head a little closer and leaned in to kiss him. Bobby accepted the kiss, even though he doubts at the moment. Was this all that John wanted of him?

They separated. John grinned at Bobby, who smiled back.

"You don't need ice cream when you've got me," John whispered to him.

"'Suppose I don't..." Bobby mumbled. "It's kind of a habit. Just like with your clicking."

John stared at Bobby for a second. It was as if he were studying him. They were silent for a few moments as John stared. Finally, he spoke.

"What's wrong?" John asked Bobby. He separated from him and took a few steps back. Bobby frowned.

"There's nothing wrong," He assured, although that wasn't the case. "Why would you say that?"

"Dammit, Bobby," John said, crossing his arms. "I know you better than that."

"There's nothing wrong. Seriously," Bobby said, again. John gave him a look that told him to tell the truth or else he would force it out of him. Bobby let out a sigh and looked back at John.

"Damn," He muttered. "It's complicated, John."

"Well, at least try," John said. Bobby took a deep breath.

"You're different than most people, John, besides the mutant thing," Bobby said, trying to organize his thoughts. "That's why I can't decipher you. I don't know if you really care or if you're just playing me."

He looked at John, who remained expressionless.

"John, I have to know the truth."

"What's there to tell?" John asked, looking unfazed by all of this. Bobby stared.

"Dammit," He muttered to himself. "God, John, that's exactly it."

Bobby sighed. He took a deep breath and looked into John's eyes.

"John, I love you," Bobby said. John's eyes widened. "That's why I have to know. John, how do you feel, man?"

John stared. He looked at Bobby, who looked so distressed. He honestly didn't know what to say. The very thing he feared had come to surface. He knew how he felt, but he didn't know what to say, what to admit. He remained silent as Bobby waited for an answer. Bobby's eyes widened with realization when he saw that John wasn't going to answer.

He shook his head and walked away. John watched him as he walked and didn't move or follow. He looked down at the floor, instead.

"I love you, too..."

AN: I'm still working on this slow computer, but I can still update. School is starting for me on Tuesday. That sucks. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please tell me what you thought.

Thanks for feedback: crazy4horses, deadkennedy, NY GE Pyromaniac, and oXRavenXo.


	6. five

A/N: School has started. Ugh. No time for anything anymore. I was jammed with weekend homework. Sorry for the short chapter. Expect the arrival of a certain girl next chapter.

Thanks reviewers!

And to Clay: I'm sorry for that surprise, but I stated in the summary, and the Author's note before the prologue that there WOULD be slash(otherwise known as yaoi, m/m. I also said that the main pairing would be Bobby/John) and that's what the focus of this story would be. Next time read the fine print.

Please read and review. Thanks.

:five:

It seemed apparent that they're relationship had ended. It was practically unbearable to share a room, but some how they did it. There were awkward silences and it was just uncomfortable. Bobby mostly ignored John. John tried to talk to him and tried to apologize. Bobby couldn't take it. John finally got a chance and made Bobby listen. But it was really no use. It was over.

"Look, Bobby," John had said. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Sorry? Is that all you can say?" Bobby asked, clearly upset. "We fucked! You took my virginity. I hoped that I meant something to you. But I was wrong. I was just another one of your playmates."

"Bobby," John said, trying to stay patient. "You have it all wrong. You know that I cared about you."

"No, Allerdyce, no. I really don't," Bobby said, his voice breaking up. "I really don't."

Bobby seemed as if he were just going to break down and cry. John stopped the conversation. He could see the pain that Bobby was in and he realized that nothing he would say or do would fix that. Bobby didn't want to talk to him at all. So, John gave up. They lost their love and their friendship. There was just nothing there. Both of them never talked to each other, afraid that they would get into another fight.

At night was the only time John would even dare to look at Bobby. He would be asleep, and John never slept well. He stayed awake and watched Bobby sleep. Sometimes he would be at peace when he slept, and sometimes he would toss and turn. John saw it all. He remembered one night when Bobby was dug his fingers into the sheet as if he were looking for something. John's eyes widened and he realized what it was. _'Me'_

And he would have the urge to go into that bed with Bobby as he use to. But those days were long since past. It seemed like ages ago that they were together. But it wasn't so long ago. But people started to notice that the two never talked or hung out anymore. They would shrug or change the subject. It was a hard time for the both of them.

And finally, that period of time ended. It was a thing of the past. Bobby started acting like nothing ever happened. It hurt John, but he would never admit it. They slowly became friends again. Their friendship wasn't anything like it was before. John's attitude got even worse, if that was possible. And Bobby wasn't always kind to John anymore. But they were able to hang around each other without feeling very uncomfortable. It was still awkward, but it was kind of bearable. Kind of.

They never talked about love. Not about girls, or even boys for that matter. They didn't even talk about the relationship on the latest 'Friends' episode (or whatever the hell it was that Bobby watchedâ). Bobby went for his midnight ice cream, alone and John went back to lighter 'clicks'. It was hard to do, but they did it.

With this new kind of friendship, came an intense rivalry. They started to compete in everything. Sports, powers, everything. It might have been a way to relieve themselves of the unspoken anger towards each other, although it looked friendly to everyone else. If only they knew. John hated coming second. Especially if it were Bobby's second. And Bobby knew this and made his victory even more sweeter and pissed off John more.

One night, they sat there watching the TV. Everyone else had gone to bed. It was some older action movie. They watched attentively, not daring to take their eyes of the screen and accidentally look at each other. There was some explosion in the movie that John didn't agree with.

"That was the fakest thing," John said, shaking his head.

"I know," Bobby said, in agreement. "Even _I_ could do a better job than that. Even _you _could do a better job than that."

"Exactly," John said, feeling that his powers were much more sufficient than that fake explosion. He probably could have done a hell of a job with that if he got the chance.

"No, on second thought," Bobby said, not able to resist the opportunity. "You can't."

"Wow," John mumbled, sarcastically. "Thanks, Bobby. You're a pal."

"Anytime."

Their conversations were not as friendly as they use to be, but filled with good-natured sarcasm, insults, and one hell of a rivalry. But this was what they had now. And they both had to get use to it. Love didn't matter anymore. It was a thing of the past.


	7. six

:six:

Things lasted peacefully for a while, John remembered. But then something happened that wasn't exactly planned. And that was a pretty little Southern girl who went by the name of Rogue. Neither Bobby nor John dated during that long period of time. It was just all sarcasm and competitions. When Rogue arrived, John saw the perfect opportunity.

John had actually been the first to meet her. He remembered seeing all the adults headed somewhere, all in the same direction. That rose John's curiosity just a bit. And what better way to see what all the fuss was about than to follow them? So that's what John did. It turned to be all about some Wolverine guy or something. He didn't really care. They probably just found another adult that could torture them.

On his way back to wherever he had been going, he bumped into _her_.

"Sorry," She said, her accent being southern. "I didn't mean tah."

John stared and looked at this new girl. She was pretty good-looking. Brown hair, not such a bad figure. John smiled as he looked at the perfect opportunity. Surely, Bobby would think that he could get all the girls. John would prove him wrong.

"That's okay," John said. "You're new, right?"

She nodded and looked back at John.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Marie D'Ancanto," She replied. "But, please, call me Rogue."

"Alright then, Rogue," He said. "I'm John Allerdyce. Welcome to the Institute. I was wondering when someone pretty would show up. This place is such a bore."

Rogue blushed. John knew that she was checking him out. He thanked God or whatever entity ruled the world, that he was not wandering around unkempt.

"Well, it can't be that bad, can it?" She asked. John laughed.

"No, it's worse," He muttered. "There's too many rules and it's run by a bald guy."

"You mean Professor Xavier?" She asked. "He doesn't seem so bad."

"Not bad in the way that he can read your mind?" John said. Rogue laughed. It would only be a matter of time before he would have something that Bobby didn't. He had to admit that Rogue was pretty cute, but he remembered the last time he fell in love. That ended up badly. He didn't want to make that same mistake.

John and Rogue stood there and talked for a while. It went on for a while until Scott Summers and Jean Grey happened to walk by.

"Oh, there you are Rogue," Jean said. Rogue and John looked over at Jean and Scott. John sighed. Just the people to make him look bad. "I see you're making friends already."

"But you've got to be careful of this one," Scott said as if John wasn't even there. John stared. "He's kind of a rebel."

John smiled. He _was_ rebellious and wasn't afraid to admit it. There were also a lot of other things he excelled at. Showing off, lying, writing, and of course, kissing.

"Well, the Professor wishes to speak with you," Jean said. Rogue nodded.

"Okay, Ah'll be there in a second," Rogue said to them. Jean nodded and they walked off. Rogue looked back at John.

"It was really nice meeting you, John," Rogue said to him. He smiled.

"It was nice meeting you, too," He said in agreement. "Oh, and before you go, I was wondering something."

"Yeah?"

"What are your powers?" He asked. She shuddered and sighed. She wasn't too happy with the ideas of being a mutant quite yet. She had just put some guy in a coma last time. She wasn't so keen on being considered a freak.

"Ah can suck the life out of people," She muttered. "The Professor tells me Ah should be able to take the powers of other mutants if Ah touch 'em. Ah, personally, don't want tah find out. How about you, John?"

John grinned. He took out his lighter and flipped the cap open. He ignited the flame. "I hope you like playing with fire."

Fire added even more flames to his bad boy appearance. Rogue smiled and nodded.

"That's seems cool," She said. "Well, Ah better be going. Ah'll see you later."

"Later," John said, as Rogue walked away. Showing off would be plentiful in the future. He just had to get Rogue and he had to do it before Bobby got the chance to woo her off her feet. And Rogue seemed to like him, already. It would be no problem. But he of all people should know how strong the charm of Bobby 'Iceman' Drake could be. After all, he was with him not too long ago.

Rogue eventually met Bobby. And the competition was on. It was either golden-haired, super good boy, Bobby or the not so golden, really rebellious John. It was ice or it was fire. They both became extra competitive and tried even harder to show off in front of her. When they were around each other, they didn't talk about her, just to keep the suspense. And when she was around, the two started showing off.

Neither knew which one of them was winning Rogue over. That wasn't until a certain class. John wasn't afraid to get in trouble in class. Bobby wouldn't dare show off in class, right? Rogue sat behind him. That made things much easier. He started playing with his fire, behind his back in his hand. Rogue watched, intrigued. He was about to make a shape, when he felt his control lost.

Bobby had turned his small ball of fire into ice. The ice instantly fell on the floor, causing Storm to yell at him. He muttered an apology and looked back at Bobby who was making an ice rose for Rogue. She giggled and was fascinated by him. They now knew who was in the lead. John knew who was going to win and it wasn't going to be him.

John stopped his attempts with Rogue for a while. He deemed it useless. Bobby moved right on in. She disappeared for a while. She was kidnapped by Magneto, but shortly after, she was saved. Bobby asked her out.

She said 'yes.'

A/N: I have no time for anything anymore. Curse that thing that created educational institutes we call schools. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review. This will soon be going into the time around X2.

Thanks: crazy4horses, Pheonyx, and Yuki-chu!


	8. seven

A/n: Yay for updating. School is the devil. Garr to it. But this is a nice chapter for everyone. Please read and review.

Thanks reviewers: Yuki-chu and

Clay: Glad to clear up the misunderstanding, don't worry about it and hope you can still enjoy the story.

:seven:

John didn't know which was harder to deal with. Him not being with Rogue or him not being with Bobby. In his own way, Bobby showed off his victory to John. He had to pretend he didn't care. He didn't know why he had to pretend. He shouldn't have feelings for Bobby anymore. But for some reason, he had a feeling that part of him never left. He had to admit that he kind of cared for Rogue, but it would never match his feelings for Bobby.

John was sick of feeling things. He hated the pain. Physical pain, he could take. But this was emotional pain. The worst kind. Bobby hurt him and Rogue didn't even give him a chance. He was rejected by both of them. John gave up on love. It wasn't meant for him. It was meant for 'good' people like Bobby and Rogue. He was jealous of them. They had love. And he wasn't a part of it. He probably would have settled for either Bobby or Rogue, but he didn't have a chance now. He still cared about them, but they didn't know it. And he wouldn't ever tell them.

It was hard for him, but he hid it well. He became even more of an ass, but they let him hang around with them anyway. They both considered him a friend and somewhere in their stomachs, they probably felt pity for him. And as much as it hurt to see them together, he often took their offers to hang out with them. By hanging out with them, he was getting over it. And he had more opportunities to show off.

Sometimes he would turn down those offers when Bobby and Rogue would get all romantic. That wasn't his kind of scene. It was a pity that Bobby couldn't kiss Rogue because of her mutation. Secretly, John was quite happy that no one else would be kissing Bobby. He sickened himself sometimes to see that he was happy whenever they got into a small argument or when Rogue would brush away Bobby's touch. But John could see that Bobby was really in love with Rogue. She wasn't just a prize. She was a real thing now. And perhaps that was the difference between Bobby and John.

John remembered being at the food court. The three of them had gotten away from the boring science stuff and they went to the food court. When those two guys approached him, John found the perfect opportunity to show off. In the beginning, it seemed as if he were showing off to Rogue. But the minute Bobby got angry, John wasn't so sure anymore. He enjoyed getting a rise from Bobby. He thought Bobby looked pretty cute when he was angry. It was hard to remember that he was suppose to be showing off to Rogue when Bobby was there.

Then almighty Professor Xavier found it fit to interrupt John's fun. He was kind of bitter about it, but there was nothing he could do. There was no defying Xavier when all you can do is play with fire. He wondered if his showing off paid off. Probably not. They probably found him more annoying or something. But, that's who he was now.

As Bobby and Rogue got closer, John felt more jealousy. He realized that he still loved Bobby, but there was nothing he could do now. Bobby no longer cared for him. Bobby loved Rogue, not him. But John still found himself watching Bobby sleep. He found himself dreaming of a certain blonde boy. He found himself watching Bobby and becoming even more infatuated than before. He knew he made a mistake back then and would do anything to fix it. He would even _admit_ that he made that mistake.

So, that's what he decided he would do. He would admit his mistake. Maybe things would get better and maybe he would have Bobby back in his arms. Or maybe not. He wouldn't know if he didn't try. It was worth a shot. Things couldn't get any worse. He had nothing to lose.

It was pretty late at night. John was lying there, staring at the ceiling, while Bobby was sitting up in his bed, reading or something. He stared, wondering if he could really do this. 'You _can_ do it,' John thought to himself. 'You _have_ to do it.' John sat up and looked over at Bobby. After a couple of deep breaths and some small thoughts of not doing it, he spoke.

"Hey, Bobby," John said. Bobby looked up from his book and over at John.

"Yeah?" He asked. John took a deep breath.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," Bobby said. He put his book down and moved the edge of the bed, so he was directly across from John.

"I just wanted to tell you I made a mistake," John started, trying to remain calm and sound casual. His voice was only a tiny bit quivery. But his heart was pounding against his chest. Bobby raised an eyebrow, confused. "Back then, in that kitchen. I made a mistake when I didn't tell you how I felt. I'm going to tell you know. I do love you Bobby Drake. And, I let you go because I was so deep in my pride. I just thought you should know."

Bobby was stunned. John expected that. He should be. Bobby looked down at his lap and starting breathing deeply. Minutes passed, and they were still in silence. John waited patiently for Bobby's response. He would wait forever if he had to. Finally, Bobby did look up. He looked back up and stared John right in the eyes.

"John, I love Rogue now," He said. "What we had was in the past. I'm sorry man, but I can't be with you."

John expected that answer. Of course Bobby would say that. He promised himself he would never get hurt over something like this again, but he could help but feel as if his were being pricked by a sharp thorn from a beautiful rose. John didn't say anything. He couldn't. Bobby got up and walked past him and towards the door. He stopped for a second.

"I'll be downstairs, eating ice cream," He said. John didn't bother to look. He heard the door open and then close. He was alone once again.


	9. eight

A/n: DIE HOMEWORK. Er...hi, how are you? Well, I remembered to update. I like this chapter, a lot. Well, there will only be one more chapter. Please Read and review.

No one review. T.T maybe this time.

:eight:

It was that night that the attack on the mansion happened. And that was pretty lucky. John thought Bobby would probably avoid him for the rest of his life, but not when they were stuck together. He remembered lying awake in his bed thinking about Bobby, when he heard the most earsplitting scream. Everyone would be awake from that. He got a sudden feeling that there was danger. The first thing he did was grab his lighter. It was time to leave.

He thought about searching for Bobby, but decided against it. Bobby wouldn't want to see John. He just focused on getting out. But that's when he heard his name being called.

"John!"

John looked over to see Bobby.

"Have you seen Rogue?" He asked him. John hadn't seen Rogue, and Bobby was instantly off to go find her. That idiot. John called for him, but he ignored him. There was nothing else to do but follow the boy. He would probably get himself into some kind of danger. John followed Bobby, and the two eventually found Rogue. John realized he was stuck with the both of them. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. For now, Bobby had forgotten about their little incident. He was focused on the danger and on Rogue. That was good, because John wasn't sure he would be able to handle the awkwardness between them.

They eventually escaped with Wolverine. They got a car and were on their way to Boston. Possibly even Bobby's house. But with that long car ride, there would be a lot of thinking going on. Bobby would eventually remember what John had said. John wondered what he would do after that. Nothing, he realized. Bobby wouldn't do a thing in front of Rogue. He would act as he always did.

There was mostly silence in those long hours. No one was tired or tried to sleep. Everyone was wide-awake and alert. There wasn't really much to talk about, either. And there wasn't anything they wanted to say to each other in front of Wolverine. There was nothing to do. They did eventually arrive in Boston and they ended up going to Bobby's house.

They were lucky that it was empty. Wolverine went off into the kitchen, trying to make the device from the car work. Bobby took Rogue and John upstairs. Rogue waited patiently in his room while Bobby got John a change of clothes.

"Here," Bobby said, shoving some clothes to John. "You can wear these."

John stared at the clothes now in his arms. They weren't the best, but he would have to deal. He went and change, noticing that they kind of smelled like Bobby. He liked that smell. After changing, he went downstairs. He knew Bobby and Rogue were having their alone time. He saw Wolverine in the kitchen and went into the living room instead.

The first thing he noticed, were the pictures. There were so many of them hanging from the wall. His family looked happy into those pictures. He knew then that Bobby's parents obviously didn't know he was a mutant. God, he was so lucky to have a family that cared for him. Once again, John felt that jealousy he often felt. He was jealous of Bobby, for a different reason this time. He had people who cared about him. He had a family. John had foster homes that he constantly got kicked out of. It was apparent which had the better life. At that moment, John longed for what Bobby had. But he wouldn't get any of it. He wouldn't have someone who cared for him and he wouldn't have a family. It was useless thinking about it.

His family did come home and Bobby made the choice, which John thought to be pretty foolish, to tell his family that he was a mutant. John knew it wouldn't end up well. His family was just another one of those ignorant people who were brainwashed by the media. The media told that all mutants were bad and dangerous, and that's what they believed. John offered only the necessary, annoying comments as they had their talk. Bobby didn't seem to mind them, though.

His brother did walk out and ended up calling the police. John couldn't help but secretly laugh at Bobby's mistake. He no longer had a longing to have a family like Bobby's. They were use to a perfect son, and being a mutant was something they considered a flaw. Wolverine rushed them out and then he was shot.

The three thought him to be dead. Everything became silent to John except for his pounding heart. He heard it pounding against his chest loudly. He felt Bobby and Rogue getting down on the floor next to him. He was breathing heavily, not sure what to do, barely hearing what the police were yelling at him. He didn't care. He only thought to do one thing. He opened his lighter cap and ignited the flame.

"You know all those dangerous mutants you hear about on the news," John started. He didn't know if this was the right thing or not, but he felt he needed to do this. "I'm the worst one."

And the chaos started. He fought using fire, realizing there was nothing they could do to stop him. He was in control. He had the power. John felt a new feeling of ecstasy that could almost match those times he spent with Bobby. And that was the feeling of power. He was powerful, and he liked it. And then Rogue drained him. Rogue drained him of his powers and put out the fire. She took away his power, leaving him feeling weak, like nothing.

From that moment on, he felt like nothing. He wasn't wanted there anymore. Perhaps, he wasn't wanted there from the beginning. But he didn't regret his decision to fight with fire. He got a taste of power and he liked it. From then on, he felt like he didn't belong with the X-men. They didn't want him. Not Storm or Jean. Not Wolverine. Not Rogue. And not Bobby. Bobby and Rogue were especially cold to him after that. No one wanted him or appriciated him. He was truly alone.

He met Magneto who saw the Pyro that was beneath John Allerdyce. And he liked that. Magneto caused John to start thinking in a new way. There was a lot to think about and he had a lot of time, now that he was alone. His friends, people he thought cared about him, wouldn't even glance at him now.

_'So this is loneliness.'_


	10. nine

A/N: Woo, it's the last chapter. Yay! I finally updated. Yay. I'm so lazy.

Thanks: burningchaos, Silverone3

:nine:

None of them wanted him. None of them appreciated him. He didn't belong with the X-men and they didn't want him there. What was John going to do? There was nothing he could do, except sit there, unwanted. No attention was spared for him. He didn't matter to them and he knew it. And he just wanted to get away from it all. Rogue and Bobby hated him and he knew it.

He thought he would forever be stuck where he wasn't wanted. But he chance came to leave. The X-men went to go fight their battle and the three 'kids' were left behind. They _had _to stay there. They obviously weren't good enough for the action. John was sick of being treated as kid by them. They all thought they were better than him.

And even worse, he was stuck with those who weren't exactly willing to be friendly with him. It was awkward and there was a lot of silence. John started flicking his lighter cap on and off. That was nothing new to them. Bobby and Rogue tried to make small conversations with each other. John watched them intently, as he continued to make the clicking sounds.

_Click._

He watched those he once cared about. And maybe they once cared about him, too. He wasn't sure about anything anymore. They seemed to try to ignore his presence, but they knew very well he was there.

_Click._

Rogue. Marie D'Ancanto. He once tried to feel something for her. He wanted her affections. He wanted her for himself. He had charmed her, but in the end, she chose Bobby without even a second glance towards him. She was always so kind to him. She tried not to make him feel left out. She tried to understand him. Well, at least she tried. But she did give up. John didn't need her.

_Click._

Iceman. Bobby Drake. God, he had loved that boy. He still did, although he didn't think it was that appropriate anymore. He wondered if Bobby could ever still care about him. _Not now, _a voice told him. Bobby did once care about him. He remembered all the times they spent together. It was real love. It was beautiful. But John had put an end to that, quickly. He did regret it. But now, Bobby didn't love John. He didn't love John that night when John told him how he felt. No, he didn't love John then. He had once loved him, but not anymore. All his love belonged to Rogue, none to be spared for John. He was going to miss Bobby…

_Click._

One final click. It would be the last click they would ever hear. He stood up. It was time to leave.

"That's it," John said, taking the two by surprise. He opened the exit to the jet and grabbed his sweater. And Bobby tried to stop him, sounding angry. A part of him still enjoyed getting a rise from Bobby. But that would be the last time he would ever see him. With one last look, he left the two of them with no intention of going to help the X-men. He would go where he was wanted. He just wasn't sure if that place existed.

Some small part of John wished that Bobby had stopped him. That would have proved something. But the moment Bobby let him go, he knew there was nothing there. The moment he let John leave, John knew that Bobby had made a decision. Bobby had chosen Rogue, no matter what John's feelings may have been. John didn't want to think of it as running away, but he didn't want to be there.

And in those moments of the sudden pain, he didn't care if he died. He had felt happiness with Bobby in his life, and that was something that he refused to die without. The pain ended, and he wasn't going to die after all. He had nowhere to go and his thoughts were stuck on that certain blonde boy.

He wandered for a while, before hearing the sounds of a helicopter. Magneto. John went with Magneto and Mystique. While standing in that helicopter, he decided he would try and forget the past. He would forget the X-men and Rogue. He would forget his feelings for Bobby. He wouldn't be that weakling St. John Allerdyce anymore. He would be Pyro and he wouldn't be affected by the charm of Bobby Drake anymore.

And while sitting in that room, reflecting for one last time, John took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and with the release of that breath, he let his anger leave. He would have a new beginning and he would no longer dwell on the past. Bobby did make a decision. He picked Rogue. And now John would make a decision. He would forget Bobby. Bobby Drake would only be a boy of his past. Bobby Drake would fade away to that far away memory that lingers in his occasional dreams. In the end, it would just be himself.

_Click._

John closed his lighter. He stood up and stuck his hands in his pocket. He walked towards the door and opened it, taking only one last look at the plain, white room.

"Goodbye," He muttered, one last time. Not to the room, but to the memory of Bobby Drake. It would no longer haunt him. He wouldn't be held down. John closed the door and started to walk.

The future was starting to look brighter, already.


End file.
